My exact sentiments

Because I love you

I always wondered
With total exactness
The moment I realised it had to be you
And me
Together
Forever

Was it the first time I saw you smile
The way your eyes glistened
And you threw your head back
And showed me your pearly whites.

Naah it couldn't be!

Maybe it was the moment
I first heard you laugh
It rung like the church bells on Christmas morning
Summoning me to morning mass

But naah it couldn't be!

It was way before that....
When God was planning the story of my life.
He told me about you.
My chocolate cream soldier.

He told me how you love to laugh
And be silly
And love
And care
And be passionate.
He put a piece of you in me.

I loved you when he was making me
And when I finally met you.
It all made sense.

I had no plans for us
'Cept to love you
Till I wither away
And to love you from the other world
Cos this is the only love I know....

N.K.N 14.02.15
Dedicated to my husband,  my homey,  my lover, my friend!

Nothing

You have hopes and expectations and then all of a sudden,  within a twinkle of an eye, there is nothing to look forward to again!

Nothing to plan for.

Nothing to live for.

Nothing!

You are thrown into a world of nothingness.

Plain empty nothing!

Nothing at all.

Empty

Zero

Zilch.

At best, you start over.

At worst, you stay empty.

Anniversary shoot

For our first wedding anniversary,  we had a mini shoot with our wedding photographer in our home. 
Below is a sneak peek

Waiting

Today God is telling me so many things,  I can't help but write another post.

Waiting!!! Every knows I hate waiting.  I usually sit still for five minutes,  fidget for the next five and then that is it! I'm done!

Some years ago, I gave up on dating and decided to wait on God's perfect gift. (So this is how I waited,  I will go to God every morning and whine and nag about how he has forgotten about me). But well, I still waited.  I waited from ending 2010 till May 2012 when I finally met B.

Since then, I have become more of a waiter.  I have to wait and trust completely in God. I have learnt to lean on His sure word.  I have learnt not to look at time. I have learnt to honour my wait, to respect it, to let the pain of waiting draw me closer to God, to just enjoy the beauty of waiting.

Waiting is hard but at the end we learn a lot. We learn to rest on the potter's wheel whilst He moulds us in His perfect time.

Without waiting,  I wouldn't have matured.  I wouldn't have known I would find peace and joy in the Lord through difficult moments. I wouldn't know redemption the way I do now. Wait is for rest!

And at the end of the day, we all need rest. I have waited and I have prayed and my eyes shall see the results of my labour! !

Isaiah 61v3

Have you considered?

Have you ever paused to consider who you are in God's eyes? I have and I came to the conclusion that,  I agree with the bible, "I am the apple of God's eye"

With this is mind, I have considered how He created me. He created me in His image. An image of perfection.  I look amazingly at what my body can do and I notice the intricate details with which He made me

HE LOVES ME.
We love because He first loved us. Yesterday marked six years since I got to know Christ and it seems like I never lived before those six years.  Everything I know now was learnt at the foot of the Cross.  I learnt to love by loving those who seemed impossible to love.  I learnt to give by giving myself to others. I learnt by being a Christian.

HE CARES ABOUT THE TINY DETAILS
God did not just create me, He cares for me. I have a favourite saying which I say whenever life seems to overwhelm me. "His love in times past forbids me to think He will leave me at last in trouble to sink". The bible also asks "Can a woman's tender care cease towards the child she bares". I used to not get this till I had the divine revelation.  A mother will die for her unborn child, how much more the born one? GOD CARES FOR US THIS WAY AND MORE.

HE PROTECTS US.
God protects us. In our going in and our coming out. Just like a mother will protect her children by making sure they are well catered for, God does that and more. Awesome.

HE FOREVER FORGIVES.
I struggled with this for years. Severally the devil told me God had had enough of forgiving me. I believed it! Then God himself gave me a divine revelation of motherhood. To think an earthly mother forgives her child severally in a day cos that is her child. HOW MUCH MORE OUR HEAVENLY FATHER?

Now to the tough question,  Are we ready to replicate the nature of God to our neighbours?  The goal is to be Christlike in all our ways. Choosing to love others as we are loved is a great place to start

An open letter to the awesome man who made me a wife!!

IMy dear KO,
Today is the eve of our first wedding anniversary and I am lying on the couch looking through our wedding pictures on my laptop and I am smiling. I don't think I have laughed so happily like I did on our wedding day. Thanks so much for giving me that beautiful day. The memory will always make me smile.

A year ago today,  I was anxiously waiting for time to fly so I could be your wife and start life by your side. A year later,  I am lying here trying to remember the exact moment life gave me this beautiful gift.  YOU!!!! And I realise it doesn't matter anyway,  your presence healed a heart that was frozen to the idea of love. Thanks for proving to me each day that love is a beautiful thing. Not that maybe, could this be it kind. THANKS FOR SHOWING ME TRUE LOVE LIKE I NEVER KNEW!!

"I may not be the first person to fall in love with you but I !m your perfect last". On our wedding day, with these exact words, you swore your life to me forever.
I can't believe we are no longer the newly weds, we are now just an old married couple and that makes me smile. The past year is easily the best year of my life because you were there with me even when distance was between us, you lived in my heart daily.

B; I love being maried to you. I love waking up to your handsome (snoring) face each day, I love falling asleep beside you each
night, I love bugging you with my plenty talks, I love it when you try getting me to sit still (and fail). I love being myself around you, I love knowing you are just you around me.

I love your eyes, your smile, the serious look you have during soccer match, your too known things when you finally get the chance to teach me something new. I love hearing you laugh when I am seriously telling you about my drama. I love your hugs and your kisses.

A year down the line, God definitely thought of me when he made you. Thank you for being my best friend, Thank you for being my rock, Thank you for being my prayer partner, Thank you for dragging me to church on Sundays, Thank you for being my biggest fan and most constant support, Thank you for being the head of our family, Thank you for always making
sure I am spoilt and putting up with my princess days.

B, on our first wedding anniversary,  I just want you to know,  you are amazing with a heart of gold.  To the world,  you are just Capt N, to me, you are my one simple reason for ever believing in true love, in happily ever afters, you are my fairy tale which came true. You are most annoying, irritating human being God ever created but I wouldn't have you any other way cos you are My annoying, irritating person!!!! MY PERSONAL PERSON.  The one who placed gold on my finger and gave me love like I never knew. You are the herald of our future and the father of our legacy.  I love you, always have (probably from our first hello) and always will....

The best decision I ever took was marrying you "my perfect last" and I can't wait till we are old and grey and wrinkled
and toothless and sipping on light soup. The grandkids will definitely be calling you "old soldier" then but you will remain,
the hero I love.